I love him and I know he loves me too, he hits me at times, but I think it’s my fault because I provoke him into doing it, I know he’ll change with time because he is not the violent type. He’s just having a bad day and I need to learn to be more submissive, I already have kids for him and they need their father to be in their life, if I leave him, I don’t know where I am going to start from. He is the only man I have known all my life, he is my rock, who is going to love me if I leave him? What are my parents going to say, what are my church members going to think of me, what is the society going to say, what am I going to tell my kids when they come of age. Maybe, he needs to hit me every once in a while to bring me to my senses at times.
Please! someone should let me know if there are more excuses some women give to stay in an abusive relationship? Where is your worth as a human being, you have stripped off all the dignity in your body and soul and given it as a peace-offering to an unappreciative soul (man). Sentenced yourself to a life of misery and hopelessness. Living in denial, day in, day out, has been a way of life for you.
One thing you do not know, is that you are directly or indirectly raising future abusers, by exposing your sons and daughters to a life of constant abuse from your partner. Your sons will grow up with the impression that it’s okay to hit a woman, while your daughters will grow up thinking it’s okay for a man to treat them likewise, since their mother was able to stay and endure all the pains and sufferings. They will grow up with a lot of bitterness and hatred in their lives. This, if not checked, ends up becoming a vicious circle, which will in turn affect the society at large.
Abuse comes in different forms, this is not known by many, as they think that only the physical aspect of it amounts to abuse in a relationship. There are many people who walk around miserable, only trying to put up a front before people around them, but deep down they are distressed and depressed, purely out of the fact that they get verbally and mentally abused every single day. This does not leave any physical scar on the body as a form of evidence, but a mighty scar on the soul which weighs down the body and troubles the mind. This makes the person feel very inferior and less than human, she thinks of how unworthy she is every single day.
Don’t you think it’s time to make up your mind? Look at a reflection of yourself in the mirror and say: ” I want to be happy, I can do better, I will not take this anymore, I am better than this, I deserve better, I am beautiful, I should be loved and not hated, I am not a punching bag, my children deserve better, I need to live for myself and my children, I am strong and not a weakling, I can survive without him in my life, I am not perfect so I am prone to make mistakes at times”.
Seek help, seek solution, don’t live a life of denial. Go to counseling with your partner, if above all, you find no remedy, then, it is time to leave in order to live. Say no to domestic violence, no one deserves to be abused in a relationship, no one has that right to abuse the other.
We should learn to walk away, instead of resulting to abusing each other. let love, not hatred reign supreme in our hearts. Be a survivor today, rather than end up six feet under.