Who do you call a friend? My friend is someone I can call on in times of trouble and despair. A person who has a strong shoulder for me to lean on when my feet feel weak and wobbly. A person I can share my joys, sorrows and laughter with. A person who is willing to take the fall for me, take the blame for me and watch my back even at times when I least expected it. A person who would be willing to go the extra mile with me, even when the road looks rough, dark and lonely.
I want to call you my friend, if when I look back, I see you smiling at me, when I look at my sides I see you waiting patiently to lend me a hand and when I take a step forward I see you with opened arms to give me a warm embrace. Treat me exactly the way you wish to be treated, give me the respect I deserve and give me your honest criticisms and do not patronize me in any form, yes, treat me this way and I will call you my friend.
Is it too much for me to ask you not to backbite, gossip about me, smile with me and yet laugh at me behind my back when you feel I am not watching?. Can you not try to wink at my man and try taking his number when I am not looking?. Please do not speak badly of me to gain favours for yourself, do not dine and wine with me when you know you just finished spitting venom about me. Ask yourself why you should treat someone you call a friend like this, do you even feel any remorse or are you that insensitive?
My best friend knows when I am weak and down, knows my secrets and can tell the story behind every smile line on my face as well as every sad and tired look on my burdened soul. My best friend knows when my heart is heavy and knows when and how to sooth my pains away. When I got engaged to my man, you were the first to find out, When I got my first job, you were the first person I called.
Why, best friend, why did you choose to betray me in such a manner, you stabbed me in the back and twisted the knife in 360 degrees, to make sure you really stuck it deep. You smile and look me in the eyes with so much sincerity without blinking and yet harbour such bitterness in your soul towards me. Indeed, there is truth in the saying that the “heart of man is evil.” What exactly was your mission in my life?
Do you realize that the only person that can really hurt you, set you up for failure, is the person closest to you? A person you call your confidant and best friend. Now looking at it from another perspective, when this person decides to turn on you, what does that person becomes to you? Well let me guess… hmm… that person becomes what you call your ”worst enemy”. When your best friend suddenly becomes your worst enemy, how do you deal or cope with such situation?
People tend to fall into a state of confusion, with so much depression written all over them, they become devastated and become very distrusting towards everyone they come across. This is not a time to lose focus on life, but rather a time of reflection and re-assessment. Here are some tips, ways and ideas on how to deal with the situation if you ever find yourself in such;
Address The Situation:
Do you know that most people are adverse to confronting their problems and just sit back thinking about it every day, hoping that one day the situation will just fade away with time? I know some people will equally suggest ignoring the issue but this attitude is what I call ”wishful thinking”, because as this may work for some people, it ends up leaving a scar on others. Confronting the situation as it occurs, helps to relieve and relax the body and soul, be bold enough to let your ”frenemy” know that you are aware of the betrayal. Remember pettiness and bitchiness is not part of addressing the situation, under no circumstance should you degrade yourself, try exhibiting self-control when taking this step, even though, it won’t be easy. I bet you’ll feel much better afterwards.
Civility can get you more respect than you ever thought, at this point animosity and bitterness will be expected from you, but you can show much maturity by saying hello and being very casual at the same time, towards the person in question, especially if you can’t avoid or control the situation of bumping into each other. This gesture passes a message across that you are still in charge and in total control of the situation and your emotions.
Let out your Emotions:
At this point, do not be afraid to let out your emotions, cry if you must, this does not portray you as a weak person, rather as a person who is only human. You must expel that negative energy inside of you, shout if you must, scream if it will make you feel better, just as long as you purge out those hurts and pains you feel in your heart. It is okay to give yourself sometime to grieve about it, take as long as you want, because loosing a friend this way is never easy to deal with, especially as it is going to affect your level of trust towards people in the future. This is one of the secrets of not allowing yourself fall into depression.
Go Out And Have Fun:
Feeling sorry for yourself and staying indoors is only going to add to your problems, why not go out, mingle and have fun . Who says when one door closes, another won’t be begging to have you come in. This is a way of letting loose and not allowing your happiness to be controlled by the inhumanness of other people. Isolation is one thing you want to avoid at this point in your life, don’t ever be too scared to try again. Mingle with other friends you may have and surely you will get through it. You need a lot of distractions at this point, let having fun be one of your ways of making this happen.
Move On With Your Life:
This is a baggage, you cannot keep dragging with you as you move on in life. At this point, you must realize you have come to a point when you should move on to better people and greater things in your life. Toxic people should be expelled and kept in your past forever. Redirect and retrace your steps. This is when you tell yourself that you can rise above this and rise above it you must.
Who do you call a friend and how would you deal with a betrayal. Let’s interact, leave your comments below, share and let us inspire and help one another.