Parents are the first source of a child’s exposure to life’s challenges. The expectations are very high when it comes to the kind of upbringing a child gets from the parents. Therefore, any failure in this regard on the part of a parent is usually seen as a big disappointment, because it tends to always rub off wrongly and negatively on the society at large.
As the saying goes that to whom much is given, much is expected, whatever you as a parent, create and mold in terms of a child’s character, is what will be presented as a finished canvas to the world. Children tend to copy and emulate their parents in almost everything, especially as they see them as their heroes and role models. This is why, we need to be very conscious with what we do and how we do things around them. When you look closely and observe the behavior of some children, you notice a bit or more of the traits and characters of their parents in them. Psychologically, children feel the need to always follow in the steps of their dads and mums, in order to receive approval for their acts and actions, which they feel will be relevant in shaping them into the person they’ll become in future.
These and many more is why we should try as much as possible to avoid exhibiting some kind of unacceptable behaviors in their presence . We are going to look through the things we must not allow our children to witness in the home.
Getting Physical With Each Other:
A child should never, under any circumstance be allowed to witness this type of parental irresponsibility, in the name of physical abuse between couples. What most of us do not realize is that, the children feel let down by this show of shame, it creates a mental and emotional scar on them and can linger on in their minds for so long, that it sometimes, gives them nightmares, which can lead to an unexplainable hatred in their hearts. They sometimes grow up hateful and spiteful of people and can not even explain why at times. I have come across people who say they just get angry and upset for no reason, perhaps, they went through this kind of phase growing up as kids?. Remember, before you send a child to school, you are the first book, that child has read and has been reading before any other exposure to any kind of educational material.
Using Vulgar Languages Before Them:
Children are very good at picking up things like this easily, from their surroundings and environment and we definitely do not want to be the ones exposing them to the use of socially unacceptable and upsetting languages in the society. When we are around our kids, we should be conscious of the kind of words and languages we use, because they tend to see this as an acceptable way of communicating, especially as they see us as role models. We are usually able to correct our kids easily when we notice any vulgarity in their mode of communication, but if we are the architect of such behavior in them, then effecting a change will be almost impossible, except we choose to effect the change, starting with us.
This is a definite no, no, in the home. It is a habit that can leave a child confused and sad, especially when they have to witness the inappropriate behavior that follows, after being in a drunken state. We should learn to act responsibly around them and not give them the impression that it is okay to drink so much as to lose control of your being and senses.
Keeping Late Nights or Not Even Coming Home At All:
Missing out on your child’s life, all because you as a parent, believe that you have so much responsibility out of your home, in order to be able to fend for your family, is very dangerous, this has a different kind of psychological effect on them. They start to nurture the feeling of rejection, thinking they must have done something wrong to make either parent stay out of the home for so long or not even coming home for days. Children need the presence of their parents in their lives at every developmental stage, no material provision can ever compensate for your absence.
Degrading Each Other Before Your Kids: The fact that you do not allow your kids see or witness any physical altercation, does not make it okay for them to be put in a position where unkind words will be thrown around freely between couples. This does not only drain the people directly involved, but affects the perception a child has about how to live as a family in unity and love. Verbal abuse weakens the strength of a family and creates an inferiority complex in children, they find it really hard to function properly in the society and tend to be reserved at all times. Imagine a child going to school and telling the teacher that he is unhappy and does not want to go home, because his parents are always shouting and cursing at each other.
Keeping Malice With Each Other: When couples fall out at times, they tend to stop communicating with each other, some even use their children as an intermediary between them to facilitate communication. On no account should a child be involved in this kind of communication breakdown between parents , this is just a show of immaturity at times on our part and whether we realize it or not, the unhappiness this creates in the house is suffered more by the kids.
Keeping A Very Bad Eating And Unhealthy Habits:
As the saying goes that ”you are what you eat”. Our kids learn to choose what and how they eat by watching us, and it is our duty to live an exemplary life with our choice of habit, when it comes to our diet. Eat unhealthily and your kids will follow suit, this on the long run might affect their health. We should teach our children the benefits of eating healthily, at the same time also tell them the side effects of eating indiscriminately and unhealthily. This we can achieve most of the time by practicing what we preach before them.
Inappropriate Show Of Affection Before Your Kids:
Parents should know when to keep a lid on it, when they are around their kids. Sometimes, we tend to get carried away with our emotions, that we throw caution to the wind. Children are not supposed to be exposed to any inappropriate show of affection between couples, especially as most kids tend to want to copy and say most of the things they hear and see adults do. I also feel that this will just be too much for them to comprehend depending on how old they may be at that point in time. This may also affect their level of reasoning in line with how sexuality will be perceived and even be made worse, if after witnessing such, no appropriate discussion is had with them afterwards.
In conclusion, we must always have at the back of our minds that we as parents are the most authoritative, prestigious and significant books our kids will ever subscribe to and study on matters relating to character and personality. Perhaps, you may agree or disagree with me on this subject, let us share our views on this, by leaving our comments below.